Sometimes, it just don't turn out that way....

I spent yesterday watching the inauguratin with the world...when President Obama took the oath of office, i felt the energy of the world rejoice- kind of like on Star Wars when Obi Wan feels the cry of a millions souls after the world is blown up? Not dark, but a rejoicing...we all have hope...my oldest came home from school yesterday because of a headache and he watched it with me all day- even after I was done he kept watching...I had planned on writing later in the day but I got sick in the afternoon and ended up sleeping from 2pm- until this morning! I feel a lot better but it just goes to show, things don't always turn out the way you want..today, me and baby monster will be out doing errands...our world has changed in just 24 hours...

Change is in the wind...

I would not consider myself and especially political person or someone who watches tv all day long but today I will be both...I have never watched the inauguration of a president and am very excited to watch the parades, ceremony, etc today as history is being made...for some reason I am very excited about Obama...I really feel he holds a lot of the hopes of this nation on his shoulders and that he will bring about postiive change...I can't think of the write poetic words of anyone to say the right thing about this, but I will write this post in 2 parts..one this morning and then one this afternoon as I reflect on this day..

Cabin Fever

It has been absolutely bone-chilling cold here the past couple days and our temps will not even get above -5 for the next couple days..I feel a little cabin fever beginning to creep up on me...I feel stir crazy and wish I could take Sean outside but he has had a little fever for the past couple days and I don't want it blowing into a full blown sickness...so, this morning, Sean and I sat with our faces in the morning sunshine in the kitchen pretending it was summer...that is one thing about when it gets cold here in Minnesota- we always have beautiful sunshine to accompany it...I gave it some thought about feeling home bound and decided that this was the perfect time for me to work on creative endeavors...I created two gemstone beaded bracelets for my sis in laws for their birthday, I am going to move some of my office space around to make it feel more creative, more comfy, I am going to spend more time writing in the next couple days, I am going to read, I am going to look for more inspirations for my beading, and I will not let this cold get the best of me...Sean and I will have to keep our faces in the sunshine every morning, and peek at it all through the day, then cuddle up warm with all the boys, and my sweetie in the evenings...still, the days are getting longer, the sunshine is becoming stronger, although only a little at a time....

Creativity

On an email list I am a part of, someone had brought up the story of the Handless Maiden. I am a big student of allegory, metaphor, and stories that speak to your soul through tales. The Story of the Handless Maiden is about a maiden who loses her hands and she meets and marries a king who fashions her silver hands; the king goes to war and she gives birth while he is gone. They send word to the king but the messenger falls asleep carrying it to the king and the devil comes and changes the message to "The queen has given birth to something ugly" the king reads it and sends word back with the messenger to take "good care of the baby and the queen during this difficult time." The messenger falls asleep again and the devil comes and changes the message to say "kill the queen and the baby" ...the mother in law hides the baby and queen and sends them away to an inn where they live for seven years, very happy...the maidens hands grow back...meanwhile the king comes back and is confornted by an angry mother in law who claims she killed the queen and baby, but then tells the truth when she sees the king never sent that message. The king then vows to search for the maiden and child and does so for seven years...eventually he ends up at the inn where the queen, king, and child reunite, remarry and all is well...now...this is just a very short version of the story and this comes in many different versions but this one I like is from Clarissa Pinkoles Estes "Women Who Run With The Wolves" I think this is about creativity. My hardest part of being creative, especially in writing is having someone tell me my writing is ugly, my creation is ugly. But isn't that our baby? DOes it need to be killed? The devil here is the inner critic...maybe I need to realize that my creations are beautiful, they deserve life...so today I will focus on beauty...in my writing, in my creations...

Statio....

I went back to school this weekend after a couple weeks off...I really wasn't looking forward to it but after going, I am pretty excited about being back...My class on saturday is a writing class...I have a female instructor for the first time...I always seemed to have problems with male english instructors because they always seemed to be the ones who cut up my work and writing...the female ones always seemed to nurture it...I am so glad I am a woman...anyways...I think this will jumpstart my own writing again...we shared some of our writing and I met a kindred spirit in class...she is an older woman who I just seemed to hit it off with and we spent most of the class giggling and sharing ideas...I really look forward to getting to know her more....she is an older widower with teenage children...she has been touched by tragedy in her life...on Sunday, I had a religion class which I was dreading but the instructor is a Lutheran pastor who seems to be very openminded about questions about God and not just saying "you should just believe"...we had very good conversations in class yesterday and while we had the typical conversation monopolizers (which I get so extremely irritated by because they make class seem so long...) the conversations were quite good...we talked about doubt and vocation...I always understood vocation as being about just work but now i know it is a triangle.
God. you. the world.

I am thinking and pondering what we talked about...

one thing that stood out to me yesterday in class was something I read about Statio...

Statio- One of the elements of Benedectine spiritual discipline, the practice of pausing between activities to become consicious of the moment, of the presence of God- Kathleen O'Toole

Here are some ways from Mary Brussart's web page that shows how to include Statio in your daily life. It can be used in any spiritual practice. Substitute prayer with meditations or blessings.....

You can weave a sacred pause or statio into your daily life. Here are some suggestions:

• Pause outside your door as you leave for work or school. Say quietly to yourself: "This is a day the Lord has made. I will watch for God's presence in my life today. I will stay open to the grace of God."

• Just before you leave your car, train, or bus, say a silent prayer for all those you have passed on your journey, that they may know health, happiness, peace, and well-being. This statio practice may be repeated as you leave a restaurant at lunch or a store after shopping.

• On the elevator to your office, focus on the beginning of your workday. Say a prayer asking that your work be blessed and of service to your employer and the world at large. Think about the people you will meet during the day and give thanks for their support and creativity. If you are in conflict with a co-worker, ask that you may be forgiving and forgiven.

• Before entering a doctor or dentist's office for an appointment, or the gym for your workout, thank your body for being such a faithful trooper. Know and accept that God cherishes every hair on your head.

• Returning home, pause before entering your house or apartment. Be conscious of the moment's importance, that you are moving from your involvement with the outside world into the space of your home. Leave any stresses and problems of the day, any unfinished business, on your doorstep. (You can always pick them up again the next morning.) If you share your home with others, remember what you are bringing to them — the fruits of your labor, perhaps, but most important, your loving presence. Use this refreshing pause to prepare for a blessed reunion with them.

Grey Mornings

I know what is meant by grey mornings now...I thought about this as I heated up some water in my tea kettle to make coffee this morning...the sky is cloudy grey and the light fills my kitchen...it isn't depressing or sad but calming and quiet...I have decided that the time right after I drop the boys off at school and get home is my favorite time of day...it is the time I use for writing, reading, getting in touch with myself spiritually, setting out the day by meditationa and prayer- although it is usually very short because Sean wants attention...I know that children and pets are drawn to spiritual energy...it has always been the case with my children!...I have felt a pull in the direction of learning more about Elemental Magick...with my beading I have started to work with gemstones and learn about healing/magick properties...it is fascinating because I have always known a little about the more "popular" stones like amethyst or Hematite, but now I am learning more about others, like Sodalite, etc...I have always been drawn to stones...particularly agates- spending hours looking for them in the yard or along rocky roads....I still do that and have imparted that to my children who collect all sorts of rocks and brig them home to me...I may eventually put up a page on this blog to discuss gems and their properties, more for my own learning and a quick reference...I will also put some pictures up showing some of the bracelets I have made...or talismans...not sure yet...but, I am now off to change a stinky diaper and then clean my farm house kitchen as I feel Magick Woods is our farm home in the city...todays grey morning will lead to a grey day, these are the types of cold grey days I light all sorts of candles in my home and find a good book to read and cuddle with my son..i have to add homework since school starts tonight

Walking in a Winter Wonderland....

yesterday Sean and I went on a very long walk in our new neighborhood to explore it a little bit...one thign that we have discovered is that there are many rabbits that live around us because we see their footprints in the snow....I needed to go out and be in the big embrace of nature as I feel a little cabin fever creeping up on me because we have gone through such a cold snap here...I am going to try and get out a little every day, just to set foot into nature and let her speak to my soul...when we were walking, we saw a crow flying over head crying "Caw! Caw!" and I imiitated it....Sean wanted to follow it, he kept asking for the "kaka" which I giggled about..I said it went to find a place to take a nap, since it was close to Sean's naptime...when we got home, I was in the kitchen making lunch and sean went and got his blanket and started to walk out the door to go outside, declaring he was going to sleep with the "kaka"...smile....sigh...that is what it is all about....in other ways, i feel a little dry emotionally...I feel tired, crabby, a little PMS-y, everyone is getting on my nerves....I need to turn inward for awhile...it is hard living with another adult who wants your time when you already have to split it between 4 boys...I can handle the boys, it is the adult where it gets sticky...I think I have a case of Senior-itis too..I start school this weekend...a very intense trimester for me and I am not happy to be going back..I just want to be done with school and on with my life..i want to work with kids and develope relationships...oh well, soon I will be done..does this sound like whining? it is..I know...just be glad you were not my kids this morning...they got earfuls...sigh why can't i be a perfect parent instead of a moody crabby mom? I hate starting our days where we bicker...one good thing gave me hope and a reminding that higher forces shape our world...that is we had a beautiful sunrise...red, gold, and yellow...I am thankful for that..maybe I will start meditation again...